Dear Angela

Dear Angela,

Today marks one year since you didn't wake up.

Today was a day I didn't necessarily want to talk about...just move on and know you were happy.

But as I was cleaning my bathtub, and listening to my "Country" playlist on Spotify, the song "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts came on, and I was a goner.

I came to the conclusion that posting a blog to you was appropriate.  You enjoyed posting on yours, no matter who actually read it.

As much as it has sucked, you being gone from this life has caused some pretty incredible things to happen.

-Your family has drawn close together.  Yes, even closer than they were before (which I wouldn't have thought was possible).  We started a book club among some of the Milligan clan. The conversations that have happened during that time have been incredible.  Watching strength flow from one person to another during those conversations was miraculous.

-On several occasions the one of little ones in the family has looked at a specific spot in the room, and pointed and said "Angela."  You can bet we fell apart each time.

-A door was opened for your family to adopt a new member.  Sami gets to experience how wonderful your family is now.

-Jenn and Karla had the idea to start a scholarship in your name for kids wanting to go to theater camps.  They both found and contacted Up In Lights, not knowing how involved you were with that company.  We held a benefit concert in your name, and the turn-out was incredible.  There were so many people that loved you...I don't think you knew that.  Watching some of your good friends sing for you was heart wrenching and healing all at the same time.  It was something I think you would have been proud of.

-Neal and I have drawn closer together.  Sometimes, there are moments when one of us is overcome with missing you, and for a moment we are more vulnerable.  It gives one the opportunity to feel, the other an opportunity to comfort and strengthen - something I think every marriage needs.  Something we didn't always have in our marriage before.

Just know that we miss you, ok?  Stop by every once in a while.  Sometimes we'll figure out that you're there :)