My heart hurts

A couple of days ago I posted a status on Facebook explaining that all of the negative press about police officers recently is making my heart hurt.

I volunteered in the law enforcement profession for 5 years, worked providing uniforms for officers for 3 years, and worked in a dispatch center for 1 1/2 years.  I have met many, many police officers over those years, and gladly call a lot of them my friends.  They are good people who are striving to do their very best.

Someone recently commented to me: "There sure have been a lot of police brutality stories lately!"  My response was quickly (as it always is): "Bad press about police sells.  For every one negative story about police officers that you hear, there are thousands of positive stories that never get told."

Neal and I have been talking about this frequently since then, and when I told him I was going to write a blog about it, he supported my decision (he's not a fan of me posting on controversial topics because he's the one who has to hear me rant later on).  With that being said, here are a few thoughts we've shared with each other.  I'm hoping you'll read them and maybe just have a little more compassion and sympathy.

- Not a single police officer I have met wakes up in the morning and says, "I think I want to kill someone today."  Not a single one.  The majority of officers that I have met go into police work because they honestly want to make a positive difference.  Do people honestly think that someone who is sworn to protect their community looks at someone they've just had to shoot/taze/pepperspray (whether that person was armed or unarmed) and says "Man, I'm glad I just got to shoot/taze/pepperspray/beat that person!"

- I want you to imagine the most important decision you have ever made.  Like life altering decision that you probably took days, weeks, months, or even years to decide what to do.  Imagine how long you stressed, worried, and thought about that decision.  Now, I want you to imagine that you had to make that decision in two seconds.  Add on that you feel like your life is in danger (whether it actually is or not doesn't matter...to you, at that exact moment, you are in fear for your life).  Now imagine that there were some people that didn't agree with your decision and they took it to the local news.  Then, the national news got a hold of it, and because they thought it would sell, they reported on your "bad" decision.  People all over the country started being incredibly mean, saying hurtful things, and pretty much tearing you up one side and down the other.  Let me add in that they don't know the whole story because the media either chose not to report the whole story, or because they decided to fill in the holes to make it more fanatical.  It would suck, huh?  Because that's often what happens to police officers.

- Piggy backing off my last point, please realize there is more to the story than what you are being told.  No, not in a conspiracy theory way, but in a "the news is a business and they're going to report what sells" kind of way.  Often what happens is that the police department gives a very general, brief overview of what happened when the incident happens.  No, they are not doing this because they are trying to cover it up.  They're doing it because they still have to figure out what happened while still trying to satisfy the press by at least giving them SOMETHING.  Can you imagine what would happen if a police officer shot someone, and the department came out with a super detailed statement before they were able to gather all the facts, interview all the witnesses, do an autopsy, etc.?  Could you imagine how people would react if they got something wrong and had to come back later and say "Um, sorry, we actually were wrong in that statement, here's what ACTUALLY happened."  It'd be pretty unprofessional.  

- Another piggy back: especially with everyone having video phones and the internet now a days, everyone is quick to record an officer's "bad" actions.  They're quick to post the video of five officers trying to restrain one person.  But videos don't tell the whole story.  What they don't tell you is that the person they're trying to detain is on PCP and has the strength of ten men.  What they don't tell you is that the person they're trying to detain pulled a knife on one of the officers.  What they don't tell you is that the person tried to grab the officer's gun out of his/her hand.  They just flat out don't tell the whole story.

- Please realize that people lie.  When I worked in the dispatch center, one of our officers got in an accident with a bicyclist.  I was working that night and heard the radio traffic just after it had happened.  The next morning our local newspaper had posted an article about the incident.  They had gotten a hold of the person who was hit, and interviewed someone close to them about the incident.  That person lied about what had happened (if you can imagine that), painting our officer as a reckless, uncaring individual who immediately hopped out of his patrol car and started screaming at her significant other about all the things she had been doing wrong while riding her bike without inquiring whether she was ok or not.  They also accused our EMS crew of trying to cover it up and convince the person not to go to the hospital.  And that was all the article was about.  Now, setting aside the fact that the officer is truly one of the most caring and upstanding officers I've had the pleasure of meeting, and setting aside the fact that he loves his job and is good at it...there was (thankfully) radio traffic completely disproving everything they had told the media.  That doesn't always happen, and often officers get thrown under the bus for things they didn't actually do wrong.  

I'm not saying officers are perfect, because they aren't.  I'm not saying they shouldn't be investigated, and prosecuted if they did do something wrong, because I believe they should.  They're human beings.  What I am saying is that it's important to take a deep breath, and try to look at things and get all of the information before you make a judgement about their job, who they are as a person, or an action that they have taken.  I'm asking you to have a little compassion and sympathy for people that work a job that is more difficult than any other job I've ever heard/read/learned about.

I hate parenting advice books/websites/etc

When Joey was first born, my mom told me that it's great that they know more about babies now (like about dairy sensitivities) but that she feels kind of bad for us because there's SO much information out there about babies right now.  It's enough to drive a person mad.

I didn't agree with her.

Until now.

Over the last two weeks Joey has decided he hates naps.  Before this, he would easily take 3-4 1-2 hour naps, depending on the day.  4 months hit and boom.  We're stuck with a child who takes craptacular naps.

So, in my normal fashion, I went to the trusty internet to see if I could find a solution, and here is what I found:

- You could be keeping your child awake too long

-You could be keeping your child awake not long enough

- It could be teething, an ear infection, or cold (none of which are the answer)

- Your child may not need as much sleep

- Your child may need more sleep

- Make sure the room is dark and cool, but make sure it's not like night time because then he might get his days and nights mixed up

- It may be a growth spurt which should only last 2-3 days but some people swear they last 2 weeks

- It could be some tummy trouble

- He needs help getting through the transition from light sleep to deep sleep, so go in and pat his back, shhh, etc

- You going in may wake him up even more or make him dependent on you to fall back to sleep

- He's hungry because you're doing "eat, play, sleep" so he gets hungry shortly after he goes to bed.

- He may be about to hit a developmental milestone, so he's practicing in his sleep.
- He needs more of a routine, so put him to bed at specific times, like 9, 12, and 3.
- He needs less of a routine so just put him to bed 2 hours after he wakes up.
- Don't do a routine at all, wait until he looks sleepy and then put him to bed.

And I'm sure I could come up with more that I found.

But really people????

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

End rant.

Joey - 4 months

It's hard to believe that two more periods of time like the last four months and we'll already be at Joey's first birthday.  Where has the time gone?!  Neal and I often look at him and talk about how big he is now compared to when we brought him home.  We were even looking through pictures the other day and found the ones from when we first brought him home.  He was SOOOO tiny!!!

Anyway.

Joey's accomplishments this month:

- Officially moved from 0-3 month clothes to 3-6 month clothes.

- Moved into size 2 diapers.

- Started taking naps in his crib.

- Really started consciously grabbing onto his toys.

- He went camping for the second time!

- Sat facing forward in his stroller for the first time.

- Started being able to sit while supported.

- Took his first trip to Utah.  Met his friend Jerek who is a couple weeks older than him.  Read about our trip HERE.

- Then took his first trip to Idaho.  I'll give this trip its own post later.

- Moved into his new house!  Again, another post later.

- Started solid foods!  He LOVES "eating dinner" with us.  He will sit and babble at the table like there's no tomorrow, and it's the only time he will do it!  I'm convinced it's because he feels like he's actually eating with us and wants to be a part of the conversation.

- Found his feet.  Oh boy does he love those feet.  He's even gone so far the last couple of nights as to try and play with them in his sleep, and wake himself up in the process.

- Had his first cold :( it was rough for all of us.  We were lucky enough to find a cute humidifier though.  It's shaped like an elephant and his name is Elliot.

- Went to his first family reunion for the Milligan side of his family (Neal's mom's side of the family).  This is where his middle name comes from :)

- Decided he no longer wanted to be rocked to sleep, which we are trying (sadly) to take advantage of.  Currently he wants to lay on his side with his hands next to his face with one of us patting his back until he drifts off.  We're working on getting him to fall asleep in his crib, and then we'll work on minimizing the patting.

- Started trying to roll from back to front.  (He doesn't seem too enthused about it now though that he's figured out he can scoot himself around on his back to get what he wants).

- Weighed 15 lbs 9 oz at his 4 month checkup.

Some other cute pictures from this month: